pressure

this is what I feel like lately

it's not supposed to feel like this

Here I am 700 miles away from home, being a pioneer, an explorer, staking my claim in the new world. Why I am filled with sadness during the most exciting time of my life? oh yeah I remember now ... I have a new bride whom I miss sooo much and I don't know when we'll see each other next. And she misses me too and is having a hard time right now. I have friends I've known for many years whom I miss. (And I'm not very skilled at making new friends)
I know things will fall into place eventually but damn did it have to be this hard??

new beginnings

I landed a new job, got married, went on the honeymoon, came back home, worked 2 last days at JU, and now I have to start packing as much crap as I can into my MINI Cooper to drive back up to Knoxville THIS Saturday. I'm starting off with an extended stay hotel just to get me started and buy me some time to find an apartment. Later a U-Haul will be needed to get my stuff up there while Deb remains in Jax to find a job and get the house ready to be sold.

I'm not afraid of change, but this is going to be more change in my life than I've ever experienced before. I'm scared of leaving my hometown for a strange place I've only been to for a few days. I'm scare of leaving all my friends behind and trying to find new circles to fit into. I'm scared of all the stress that is guaranteed to be piled on top of us both. The long distance will be hard on both of us, but she at least has her friends and family to keep her company... I'll be on my own and alone, missing her terribly. But she did give me a tiny sculpture she got at a gift shop that reminds me of us. It's small enough to fit in my pocket so I'll carry it with me at all times while we are apart.

There's so much stuff and so many people I will miss... :-(