my crackpot theory

I've had this thought running through my head for years. This is the first time I've committed it to print.

For those astronomy fans out there: Have you ever looked at the Valles Marineris on Mars and thought that it sticks out like a sore thumb in the Martian landscape? I think scientists have already proven that there was once free-flowing water on Mars, but I don't think the forces of water can explain this colossal valley near Mars' equator. I don't quite buy the current theory that it is a geological rift valley.

It's almost a straight line and it looks like something gouged out the land.  My crackpot theory is that Mars either had a 3rd moon that spiraled in from its unstable orbit (like Phobos is predicted to do in a few million years) and scraped along the ground for hundreds of miles, or a stray body from the nearby asteroid belt had its own close encounter with the planet.  Could a catastrophe of this magnitude be enough to strip away whatever atmosphere Mars had and turn it into a desolate wasteland? I'm not qualified to say. Maybe NASA will send some probes to this region of Mars for a closer look.

vegas vacation

I went to Las Vegas last week to meet up with my brother and his wife who are celebrating their 10 year anniversary. I didn't really have a good time. Why not?

- none of the roads have lines painted to tell you where the lanes of traffic are. There are only "buttons" that kinda hint at where a lane might be but most of them were chipped away. I spent my driving time staring at the road to figure out where the hell I was. ... OK that's not enough to dislike my trip but it is enough to not consider ever living there.

- I stayed in the Tropicana hotel right on the strip. UGH! what a hellhole!

1) I ate breakfast at one of the hotel's restaurants and it gave me explosive diarrhea.

2) all of the escalators on the property were broken. This includes the interior as well as the exterior ones leading to the cross walks. Who schedules maintenance on ALL the escalators at the same time and why did it take so long to fix them?? I took pictures of the barricades and dismantled escalators to show my friends and family because they would never believe me if they didn't see it for themselves.

3) in the elevator bay there are 6 elevator cars, but at any given time only a maximum of TWO were working. The crowds of people waiting for an elevator where horrible. Why should guests wait 15 minutes for  the elevator to get to their floors or even out of the building?

4) I was trapped in one of the few working elevators for about 20 minutes while suffering from the diarrhea I got at the restaurant. I pressed the alarm buttons but they only rang the bell one time out of 5 presses - this MUST be a safety violation of some sort! Maybe I should direct that to the Las Vegas fire department.

5) Whenever I asked any of the employees for directions to anywhere in the hotel, the canned response I got was "It's on the other side of the slots." The restrooms?  "other side of the slots" The promotions desk? "other side of the slots" At one point I deliberately stood next to the cashier cage and asked a passing security guard where the cashier was and he said "on the other side of the slots" !!!

I understand that casinos are deliberately designed to confuse patrons to keep them spending money on all the games, but broken elevators and escalators, bad food, and poor customer service don't accomplish anything other than drive people away.  If I ever go to Las Vegas again, I will definitely not stay at the Tropicana.

An observation I thought was odd was that 99% of the slot machines in Vegas casinos no longer accept coins or tokens nor do they pay out in coins or tokens. I thought the fun and excitement of the slot machines was to hear the plink plink plink of coins hitting the tray below when you won. Now they pay out via a printed slip with a bar code that you can either use in other machines or cash out at the cage.

And one last thing... the 2" diameter snow globe that I bought for my wife was confiscated at airport security because "it could be a bomb." The terrorists have won. They have made us so paranoid that innocuous objects could destroy the country and our "way of life". We lost our way of life in 2001. They won.

elvis sighting

Elvis sighting
Originally uploaded by mcclint

Let my wife's words speak about this encounter:
OMG,
The show was FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC last night!!!!!!!!

Well, on the way from the parking garage we walked by the tour buses.
Being the retard I am I made Clint take a picture of me in front of the bus (to capture my homemade Elvis Costello t-shirt and rock star pony tails all spiky- which by the way are NOT adequately captured in this picture)

As soon as the picture was snapped
ELVIS COSTELLO GOT OFF THE BUS AND I WAS FACE TO FACE WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was stunned.
Shocked.
Awed.
I stood mouth agape, and all I could think of to say to this master of lyrics and music was “you already know how awesome you are”.
Luckily Clint’s quick thinking saved the moment FOREVER by capturing a Kodak (actually Fuji- but Kodak works better in this context) moment by telling me to get a picture.

So I asked (and this is the best part because it reflects even more of my overwhelmed lack of words) “may I take a photograph with you” and he smiled cordially and said yes.
At that point all I could do is fan my hands in front of my face like a feklempt jewess and said “oh my God, oh my God, I got a picture, I am so excited! I think I peed a little!!!!!” He chuckled and made his way into the Theatre.

Then Clint reminded me that I just told Elvis Costello that “I think I peed a little”. It was obviously just an expression of excitement, but Dude…Could I have not come up with anything more clever that a 12 year old boy’s vocabulary when in the presence of someone with such lyrical and musical talent? No. I had to say “awesome” and “I peed” and “ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod”.

OK Clint, are you happy? I made sure to tell people I told Elvis Costello I peed a little.

That shame will haunt me forever. Sigh.

bug site update

I redesigned my bug progress website using iWeb.  I've reached the point where I can start moving forward on the car and the website again.