When a user has a problem with their computer, they call "the computer guy" and all chummy and chatty wanting to be your best friend. The computer guy comes with a smile and reassurances that the end of the world is not upon us. The problem is fixed - sometimes better than new. The computer guy has served his purpose. The user is done with him. If it is a business relationship, monetary payment is received in exchange for an invoice. If it isn't a business relationship - friends and family and other acquaintances - then the payment might be beer or cookies (if you're lucky) or a hearty "thanks Computer Guy!"
I am in a unique situation where I mostly work from home with the occasional on-site visit required for those particularly difficult problems that can't be fixed via remote control. The problem is that working from home AND being 550 miles from friends and family is a VERY lonely existence. I don't have an office to report to every morning where I can have chit chat with co-workers and compare our thoughts on last night's football game or discuss the minutiae of our day to day lives. All I have is an AIM buddy list that seems to be getting populated less and less with each passing day. I also have Facebook where I can keep in touch with lots of people, but it just isn't the same as face to face contact. We've lived in Knoxville for over 3 years now and we haven't made any friends here. My wife at least had co-workers when she was employed.
Most people make friends through shared experiences like the workplace. I don't have a workplace as such. So I end up spending my work-from-home days staring at the walls in my office and waiting for someone to sign on to iChat.
While I was pondering the subject matter I realized that some of my friends back home are just like my clients except they usually don't have to pay me with money. The beer and cookies are fine, but that's the end of it. I don't hear from a friend in weeks or months and when I do hear from them, 99% of the time they are having a computer problem and want my help. I try to have normal conversations with them. I ask about their lives and offer tidbits about what's going on in my life. I comment on the popular culture of the day and the conversations are good. But once the computer is fixed and I've been given a plate of cookies i'm shown the door and told "oh I have a thing to go to with a bunch of friends."
But really... who wants to be buddy-buddy with their plumber or electrician or the guy who replaced their roof? Those people have a particular skill that is only called upon when something is broken and the presence of the repair person is just a symbol of bad circumstances and the emotions that come from it. The sooner the plumber is out of your house the better, right?
I'm not very skilled at meeting new people socially, but I do try. The conversations usually take this turn:
...
Me: so what do you do for a living?
Person: I'm an office drone at MegaGlobalConsolidated.
[... 20 minutes of conversation about their job ensue...]
Person: Well enough about my boring job. what do you do for a living?
Me: I'm a computer guy
Person: oh...[awkward pause] ok.
If the person doesn't turn around to talk to the person on the other side of them, i MIGHT get:
Person: oh, ok. Hey, my computer is making this noise when I turn it on. what could be causing that?
I've tried using any of the other job descriptions I'd only use on a resumé like System Administrator or Mac Engineer but inevitably the question will follow: "What's that?" and instead of trying to describe the technical details of what the job is, I just fall back to "I'm a computer guy".
I've tried talking about some of the strange things I've encountered in my job. I've tried changing the subject to anything else. It doesn't matter, it's too late. The cat is out of the bag. I'm a "Computer Guy" and even though in the 21st Century "Geek" is supposed to be cool, we are still on a low rung on the social ladder. It's a caste that is only slightly higher than plumbers because of more intellectual nature of the job.
It makes me feel insignificant. It makes me feel like the only reason people want to be near me is so they can use me. I don't know that there is a solution. I've thought about changing my vocation, but there's not much else I can do without tons of schooling that I can't afford right now.
Oh well.
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